I just got the best Spam I've received since the Time Travelling Spammer:

Listen fuckers.

I aint going to bullshit you. We both know that you dont have a girlfriend. We both know you dont have much luck getting women in bed. Getting laid is another story altogether. What would you say if I told you have I the key to you finally getting laid?

Interested?

Go to the website below. There is a bunch of hot women who are desperatly seeking a good fuck. This might be the only chance you have at actually getting some pussy.

Well, I have to admit, the guy does have my number.

Cromulent is now in the dictionary.

Who's that?

When I went home for Christmas I flew into Chicago. The next day my sister flew in and we headed up to Wisconsin. On the way up to my parents' place up there we stopped at my aunt's house in Plainfield. It was a couple days before Christmas and my aunt was sitting a puppy who was to be given as a Christmas gift by a coworker of hers to his wife.

He was a Bichon Frise, and I mentioned to my aunt that that was the kind of dog that Bex used to have and that she wants to get one someday.

So I had a great time up in Wisconsin and came back to Fort Awesome. A couple weeks later I got a call from my folks. Apparently the puppy's new owners decided that they didn't have time to housebreak a puppy, so they were trying to find a home for him. My aunt had remembered that Bex wanted a Bischon, so they gave us first dibs on him.

He was taken down to my parents' place in Chicago, where he spent a week. Neither of my parents are dog people, but they said they were sorry to see him go. A week later Bex's sister was up in Chicago to move some stuff back to Kansas City. While she was there, she picked up the little guy and brought him our way.

He's still trying to figure his way around Fort Awesome, but he seems OK with stairs. He certainly isn't housebroken yet, but we're working on it. He's shaggy and needs to be groomed, but we have that set up for next week. I've never owned a dog, so it's taking some getting used to, but he's a great little guy. He runs all over the place and he really likes to walk in the neighborhood.

He is a guy though, and he does have his favorite activities. He's getting shaggy, and tonight is going to be his first bath since he's been back. He kind of needs it... He's cut into our sleep schedule a bit, but it's kind of nice to be waking up a bit earlier.

He barks a bit when he's first put in his kennel for the night, but he's getting better about that.

We're sure glad we got him, though. He's super cute, and a whole lot of fun to play with. Hopefully someday he'll stand still long enough for us to get some better pictures, but for now we need to catch him on the move.

Harry says hi...

If you do not get how to jot at the Mad Ape Den you can see the faq. Fun can be had at the Mad Ape Den, see if you can do it.

(I got to the Mad Ape Den via a URL.)

So the Oscar nominations were announced today. I think that the only movies I saw last year were Sideways, Hero, Spider-Man 2, and Team America: World Police. Nevertheless, I feel I have to comment on one conspicuous omission:

Why the hell didn't Team America get a nomination for Best Song? There were plenty to choose from, and I think that "Freedom Isn't Free" was the best song released last year, from a movie or otherwise.

Update: It all comes flooding back. I can't believe I forgot about having seen Garden State. On the other hand, I'm not surprised that I forgot I had seen Alien vs. Predator. Now I need to get back to the business of forgetting again.

Well, the Kansas City Roller Warriors exhibition bout over the weekend pretty much ruled. Bex and I didn't bring a camera, so if you'd like to see some pictures (of course you would), you should head over to Jason's place or Tony's Place.

It's a good thing we had pre-purchased tickets from Jason as the match was in fact sold out. It was a capacity crowd as Bex and I arrived at the Winnwood Skate Center in North Kansas City. We missed the pre-match breakdancing, but we made it in time for the skater introductions. The girls all had excellent roller derby names. Jason's fiancé was skating as Boom Boom Von Doom. There were also Aurora Gory Alice, Dirty Britches, Poison Ivy, Dominant Jean, and many others I'm not remembering right now. There was a Princess Anna Conda. When Bex and I were wandering the crowd looking for a friend of hers we found Anna Conda's cheering section. Her parents were there wearing "King Conda" and "Queen Conda". There was also a "Grandma Conda" in attendance.

The girls were tough. I don't think any of the spectators caught a skate in the face, but there were certainly some close calls. The girls were good on their skates, but with all the pushing, shoving and blocking going on there were more than a few skaters forced off the track and sent sprawling. Only a few fights broke out, and I think that only two skaters had to spend any time in the penalty box.

The match was a blowout with the Dogfighting Dames taking a first period lead over The Bionics and never looking back. The final score was Dogfighting Dames 127, Bionics 81. All in all, it was an excellent night. I'll definitely be out when the regular season starts up in March.

One thing I really hate about having a Sunday night darts league is that I always end up having to watch the Sunday night football games without the sound on. Then I end up missing some excellent sports moments. Like Joe Buck getting all indignant over Randy Moss's Moon Over Lambeau. (Don't worry, he'll get his next year.)

I didn't even know about this one until just now:

Most Awkward Moment: Boomer's Sneak Attack on Marino Not since the Lohan-Duff feud has America been torn in two quite like this. In case you missed it, after the Pats-Colts game, Boomer derisively remarked that Manning has become the Dan Marino of his generation, then Marino responded with a withering glare and a "How many Super Bowls have you played in?" comment, followed by Greg Gumbel punching himself in the head like Raymond Babbitt. All right, I made that last part up. But this was an UNBELIEVABLE moment. Poor Marino was smoldering for the rest of the show.

Holy Crap! How did I miss that? I always hated Boomer as a commentator. I remember when he was on Monday Night Football the other talking heads barely checked their contempt for him, and towards the end of his last season on MNF they weren't checking it at all. I swear that I heard Al Michaels just tell him to shut up once late in Boomer's last season on the show. If I remember right, he did just that, not making a peep for quite a while.

In these days of Rampant Comment Spam which takes down my server for days at a time, I really should be cracking down on this with an iron fist. I'm kind of intrigued by the whole thing, so I haven't deleted any of the comments I still receive from Deepak Bista, manager of the Sagarmatha Nepali Restaurant in Stepney, South Australia. Confused? I kind of am too.

A couple of years ago I was up in Wisconsin, so I stopped in Madison to visit Eden. She took me to an excellent Nepali restaurant in Madison. When I got back home from the weekend in Wisconsin, I posted about the trip, mentioning the Nepali restaurant.

Several months later a fellow found my website, I'm assuming via a Google search for "Nepali Restaurant" or something. He posted a comment saying:

When you are in Adelaide, Australia please visit multi-award winning first authentic Nepalese restaurant in south australia. Kumar Gurung plays madal, guitar and sings Nepali folk music. This is the place to feel Nepal in Australia.

Posted by: Deepak Bista on September 4, 2003 04:47 AM

Then soon after followed it up with:

Sorry forgot to write the name and website of the Nepalese restaurant in Adelaide, Australia.

It is Sagarmatha Nepali Restaurant and following are its websites:

http://www.sagarmatha.com.au

http://adelaide.citysearch.com.au/E/V/ADELA/0001/13/29/
Please enjoy your visits

Posted by: Deepak bista on September 4, 2003 08:37 PM

Fair enough. If I'm ever in Adelaide, I'll stop in. It was a bit stranger when he continued to come back over the next several months, leaving more comments on that post. He would stop in and wish me happy Nepali holidays, tell me about upcoming events at the restaurant, and even post links to pictures of some of their celebrations.

Then things got weird. In October, the same post got this comment:

Very dirty restaurant. The owner is a con artist

Posted by: Tenzing Sherapa on October 22, 2003 01:43 AM

Later that day, Deepak must have found the post, because he followed up with:

To whom it may concern:

As of today Mr. Ranjit Shamsher Jung Bahadur Rana is banned from this restaurant and NAFA. He is an ethnic Indian Hindu and also a lunatic. He does not suit our culture that is giving affirmative action to the benefit of Tibetean and Sherpa Bhote khalaks of Nepal.

We are ready to go to any court as giving reasonable accomodation will make us suffer hardship.

Deepak Bista
Owner/Manager
Sagarmatha Nepali Restaurant

President
Nepal Asustralia Friendship Association
Adelaide

Posted by: Deepak Bista on October 22, 2003 05:53 PM

Dang! Deepak laid the smack down! Oh, but it didn't end there:

This place has now been closed as it was rat infested and crab infested.

Posted by: gandoa landoa serapa on October 24, 2003 06:04 PM

At this point, Deepak took the high road and stopped responding to the trolls. But they kept coming:

You fucking idiot Bista mother fucker. Shut up your fuck face.

Posted by: prahant Pradhan on January 10, 2004 08:25 PM

(That one was posted four times)

fCUKING BISTA ALWAYS BOASTING BULLSHIT. GET LOST AND GET A LIFE AND STOP PLAYING IN OTHERS MONEY.

Posted by: manange Subba on May 25, 2004 09:09 PM

This was the last negative post about Bista. Apparently there is somebody who is very upset with Bista. He doesn't just post here, I'm assuming that this was written by the same troll:

Deepak Bista No Longer Manager At Sagarmatha Nepalese Restaurant in Adelaide After Food Poisoining Scandal with Kangaroo Penis Dal Green Pea Soup. I am very very sorry for my Tibetaen Cook's mistakes.

I want Indian, Nepalese, Bhutanese, Banglafeshi, Pakistani to look up if they waan migrate to Australia via Indonesia in boat. I charge US $ 5000 per person. Visit me at http://www.sagarmatha.com.au or write to me XXXX XXX Rd., Stepney Phone (08) XXXXXXXX.

I like to help asian homosexual communists and Islamic Jihadist.

I like Tibetaen Chefs to Cook Indian Food and make them look like Nepalese.
posted by Deepak Bista on 07:10 PM 2 Comments

Yeah, somebody seems not to like Deepak Bista.

Deepak continues to leave comments on Gimpysoft to this day, but has for some reason started leaving his comments on this post about the Royals' opening day last year. Just last Friday he posted a comment letting me know about a Tsunami relief fundraiser he's holding at the restaurant on January 30. So if you're in Adelaide, be sure to pop in and give him your support. If I were you, I'd just ignore Tenzing Sherapa and manange Subba.

Even though his comments could be viewed as Comment Spam, I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. It's pretty much my goal in life to one day eat at his restaurant.

After the divisional round, scores are:

severian - 9 points (3-1 WC, 3-1 Divisional)
gerg - 8 points (2-2 WC, 3-1 Divisional)
ryano - 6 points (2-2 WC, 2-2 Divisional)
Gurney Halleck - 6 points (0-0 WC, 3-1 Divisional)
The Great And Powerful Raj - 0 (0-0 WC, 0-4 Divisional) ELIMINATED

Everybody still in contention has the Iggles in the Super Bowl. On the AFC side, gerg had the Colts, so he won't be gaining any ground there. Gurney Halleck and severian both have the Pats going to (and winning) the Super Bowl, so they won't be jockeying for position. That leaves me... I had picked the Colts to take out the Pats last weekend, but then lose to the Stillers next weekend. A Pittsburgh win over the Pats will vault me into first place in our pick-em, regardless of the outcome of the Super Bowl or the outcome of the NFC side of the bracket.

Looking for something to do this Saturday? Come on out to the Winnwood Skate Center for the first exhibition bout of the Kansas City Roller Warriors roller derby league. This exhibition bout pits The Bionics vs. The Dogfighting Dames.

Tickets are $12 at the door, but can be prepurchased at the Winnwood Skate Center or at Birdie's Boutique (116 W 118 Street, in the Crossroads area) for $10.

Doors open at 8:00, be sure you head out. We'll see you there.

If you don't live near Kansas City, there still might be a league near you. You can also get Roller Derby information at Wayne's Derby News Blog.

So this Sunday was the premiere of 24 on Fox. I set up my crappy cable-system DVR to record the show. I recorded the show, plus 45 minutes after the end of the show in case the football game went long. Unfortunately, I forgot to set it up to record Monday's episode, so I only have access to one half of the season premiere.

Until recently, this wouldn't have been much of a problem since I would just have headed over to Suprnova to download a copy of the show. Unfortunately, various entertainment organizations recently launched a crackdown on video bittorrent sites, so it now is more trouble than it is worth to try to track down a copy of the episode I've missed. So, like the last three seasons of 24, I won't be watching because for some reason I won't watch that show if I've missed an episode.

Which brings me to the thing that upset me... The technology exists that the networks could make shows available for download. Hell, I probably would pay as much as $5 or so to download an official, hassle-free copy of the episode I've missed. But they won't make their content available online legally, so I'm stuck waiting a year for the show to come out on DVD. More likely, I just won't watch the show at all.

When I like something, I tend to get more than a little obsessive about it. After flirting with HBO's The Wire during the first run of season two, I really got into the show during this summer's repeat run of season two, Netflixed season one, and watched this fall's third season. After reading a couple interviews with series creator David Simon, I discovered his book The Corner. The book follows one year in the lives of several people living in and around the drug markets of West Baltimore. I finished up the book last week and Netflixed the first disc of the HBO miniseries based on the book. The success of this miniseries was responsible for The Wire getting started.

The miniseries is pretty enjoyable, even if Bex does call it the most depressing show in the history of television. It's a little strange to see Clark Peters, the actor who plays good detective Lester Freamon in The Wire, playing Fat Curt, the most run down of junkies. Also a big surprise is Khandi Alexander. Khandi played Catherine Duke on NewsRadio, but in The Corner plays Fran, the junkie mother. I was never a huge fan of Khandi on NewsRadio, but I think she does an excellent job as Fran in The Corner. Bex thought that she had won an Emmy for her performance, but I see here that she was apparently snubbed.

OK, now back to run down my fan obsessiveness checklist:

Have they announced if The Wire will be picked up for a fourth season? No

Is there a release date for NewsRadio on DVD? Hey, there is! (Only a year and a half after they first announced it would be released.)

Has Favre decided whether to come back? Nope.

Back to my old workout, that is. I rejoined a gym about three months ago and I've been doing a weight workout they put together for me during that time. I never really liked it, but decided I'd give it a shot for the three months they suggested. The three months are up and I'm back to the old workout I used to do when I was a member up at Gold's. Today is the first day in a while that I've been truly sore, after doing Workout A of my old three day deal.

On top of that, I'm in two racquetball leagues this session. The Wednesday C level league dissolved because not enought people signed up again, but I moved up to a Tuesday night B+ league and a 6:00AM Friday C level league. I'm not a big fan of waking up at 5:30 in the morning to work out, but I really need to be playing racquetball more than once a week.

So far I've played one game in the C league and two in the B+ league. The guy in the C league was much better than either of the people I've played in the B+ league. He's probably the best player I've played so far, including all the folks in last session's C league. I'm guessing that either he just can't make any time other than Friday early morning, or he just likes to win and plays below where he really could be playing. I'm guessing the latter, but it's going to be a while before I get back in the kind of shape I was when I was playing racquetball regularly before. I think I'll be a better judge of things then. My serve and shot placement is still pretty decent, I'm just not quick enough getting to the ball.

I think the weight chart probably needs to come back soon, but I need to at least start recording my weight again soon. The only time I was doing that consistently was when my computer was in my room in my old apartment, and it was only about ten steps between the bathroom scale and the computer I stored my weight on. With the scale upstairs in my bedroom and my computer downstairs in the basement, by the time I've gotten ready for the day and go downstairs to check my email I've forgotten to record my weight.

Well, the brackets are set so let's make the rest of our picks.

In the wild card round, I went 2-2, tying with Gerg. Severian is in first at 3-1.

The remainder of my picks:

NFC Divisional:
Minnesota at Eagles: Eagles
Rams at Falcons: Rams

AFC Divisional:
Colts at Patriots: Colts
Jets at Steelers: Steelers

NFC Championship:
Rams at Eagles: Eagles

AFC Championship
Colts at Steelers: Steelers

Super Bowl:
Eagles vs. Steelers: Steelers

Yeah, I know. Very imaginative. OK, get your picks out there. If you missed the wild card round, you're only behind by 3 points. Divisional rounds score 2 points each, Championship games score 4 points each, Super Bowl victory is 8 points.

Houston, you're slipping. The Men's Fitness #1 Fattest City 2004: Detroit. Houston, after two years on top, you've dropped to #2.

Also, Dallas is making a run, moving up in the rankings from #9 last year to #3 this year. Come on Houston, you'd better not end up getting passed by your neighbor to the north.

Kansas City moved up from #22 Fattest in 2003 to #14 in 2004. I know I did my part, and hope I can continue to contribute in the future.

How cool is Bex? I'll tell you how cool.

Old school readers may remember Pirate TV, the live show we did on the University of Houston Student Video Network back in the day. The theme song for Pirate TV was Get It On by Chase, a 70's horn band I've been obsessed with since high school. I've gone as far as to buy a couple of Chase records, but since I don't own a turntable, I never get to listen to them.

Several years ago a company pressed some CDs of some of the Chase albums and they were available on Amazon for a time. I never ordered them, but I checked back this fall and noticed that they were no longer being sold on Amazon and used copies were selling for over $100. I must have mentioned this to Bex sometime last fall, because she found a website selling the entire Chase discography and bought me copies for Christmas.

Several of the albums are obviously burned CDs, but I suppose that's what you're going to get with albums that were never released on CD. If they are just LP to CD transfers, they are very well done.

The collection includes the self titled album "Chase", which included Get It On, and also has Chase's version of "Handbags and Gladrags", which you may recognize as the ending credits music for The Office. Also part of the collection is a CD containing two LPs, "Ennea" and "Pure Music". Another CD contains Watch Closely Now, a tribute CD recorded by the surviving band members after Bill Chase's death. Also, there are three live CDs.

Best. Present. Ever.

Remember: It's a Fuck You Friday.

Fuck you.

I refuse to get my hopes up too much for Green Bay's post-season prospects, but things really do look OK, at least in the short term.

This weekend we play the Vikings, and we've already beat them twice this season. The first win was at Lambeau in the mid-fall, certainly not too cold. The second was in Minnesota in the dome. Now the Vikings have to come to Green Bay in the snow and ice. How does Minnesota handle the cold? Not well:

“We’d like to get outside,” Vikings coach Mike Tice said Thursday. “But it’s just so brutally cold right now. There’s no way we can practice on the field. It’s frozen solid, so that’s the problem.”

Tice has kept two large sliding doors open at the team’s indoor practice field this week in an effort to simulate the 30-degree temperatures expected at Lambeau Field on Sunday.

You just go ahead and practice in that brutal draft. We'll see you on Sunday. I just wish my parents had ordered the playoff tickets. I would love to be up there this weekend.

I really think we can beat Minnesota and go on to the divisional round. We should be able to do this. I'm not going to think ahead to the Falcons just yet, though.

Update Monday January 10: Or maybe not.

And for every stunt, prop, half-truth, or trick pulled by the Kerry campaign that the rightist blogs exposed, I can point you to something dumb, fake, misleading, or false the Bush campaign did that the leftist blogs exposed. I read both throughout the campaign. The most remarkable thing about blogs and the 2004 campaign was just how ready formerly independent voices on both sides were willing to spew out official campaign talking points, eschew criticism of their own guy, and otherwise fell into line in order to get their man elected. Both candidates were deeply flawed. If you ask me, the story of the year with respect to blogs and the campaign was how readily the allegedly-independent blogosphere became an apparatchik -- just another campaign tool, really -- for either party.

Abso-fucking-lutely

So what has been up with me lately? Not a whole lot, honestly.

Bex and I have fallen into a state of domestic bliss, with all that that entails. Decorating, cleaning, me fixing things around the house (occasionally), Bex grocery shopping. It should be obvious from these pictures that we've been eating rather well lately. I'm still not cooking as much as I'd like to, but we're eating at home a lot more than we used to. We made some excellent Brussels Sprouts a couple nights ago with a great parsley caper sauce. Sauces are my weakness, so I'm enrolling in some classes at the Culinary Center of Kansas City. I got a gift certificate from Bex's folks so I've enrolled in Sauces 101 and Sauces 102.

This first picture is Bex and I at the Big Smith show in Columbia on New Year's. A major milestone in our relationship was reached when I brought Bex to her first Big Smith show, and she either liked them or pretended very well. I hadn't seen the guys in almost a year, and they were as good as always. I'm still hoping that they might announce more dates sometime soon. They haven't been to Kansas City in almost a year now.

Rewinding a bit further, the trip up to Chicago and Wisconsin was fun. Even though I didn't make it out to Lambeau this year, I did at least get to watch a Green Bay/Minnesota game with my Grandpa and the rest of the family.

About a week before that, I was in Houston for the Young Pups wedding. Ed and Michelle were married in style, I got to see the UH campus again, and their reception site was terrific. It was held in an old movie theater, with movie soundtracks playing during dinner. They had made fake movie posters featuring Ed and Michelle that hung in the lobby, and the marquee read "He's The One: Starring Ed & Michelle" on one side and "She's The One: Starring Michelle and Ed" on the other. It was great to see those crazy kids married, and great to see a bunch of folks I haven't seen in a long, long time.

This second picture is of Bex and I at my new favorite Barbecue joint in KC, Oklahoma Joe's. Arthur Bryant's is still nothing to sneeze at, but Oklahoma Joe's has the advantage of being slightly closer and having a better spicy barbecue sauce. This picture was taken quite a while back, but figured I'd post it since I'm posting sappy pictures of Bex and I.

One last piece of news: We have a dog on the way. When I was up in Wisconsin, an aunt of mine was taking care of a dog that was to be given as a Christmas gift by one of her coworkers. The recipient of the gift decided that they had too much nice stuff in their house to have a dog. Since that's not a problem at Fort Awesome, I decided to take the dog off their hands. The dog will arrive next weekend. I have never before housebroken a dog, so any tips would be appreciated.

That about brings things up to date here. I hope your holidays were enjoyable as mine were.

(Images hosted by Flickr since my web server sucks so much ass these days.)

Well, it's ice storm time again here in Kansas City. For all the buildup, it didn't amount to much. I was kind of worried about the tree in my front yard. I think I probably should have had it trimmed this summer, but I never got around to it. It's pretty well coated in ice, and the limbs are sagging a bit, but the freezing rain has turned to sleet at this point and that isn't sticking to the trees.

Roads were well taken care of, and we only lost power briefly last night.

All in all, a sissy sort of a storm. Come on KC, I know you can do better.

OK, it's time again for the Gimpysoft.com Playoff Pick 'Em. My picks are:

Wild Card Round:
Green Bay vs. Minnesota: Green Bay
Denver vs. Indianapolis: Indianapolis
Jets vs. San Diego: San Diego
St. Louis vs. Seattle: St. Louis

Post your Wild Card round picks in the comments. After next weekend, check back to post your divisional through Super Bowl picks. You will earn one point per correct Wild Card pick, two points for each correct Divisional Pick, four points per correct Championship pick and eight points for a correct Super Bowl winner.

Hurry and make your picks before the web server goes down again! Glory awaits you!

I saw this on Metafilter. It's a simple web app that gives you a bunch of fridge magnet letters, and you and fifty others on the internet can rearrange them to spell words, make pictures, or whatever. Give it a shot, it's kind of fun.